I need some light relief and I think that Pam Ann is the only person to make it happen. I have realised that in my complete obsession with the British banking fiasco™, I have lost my smile that Pam gave me last year.
Please Pam, release another DVD. It has got so bad that I even ‘Sky plus’ed Loose Women to see your slot! And then, it was almost impossible for that vacuous scripted panel of women to shut up and let an entertainer do their job.
That programme is like licking a Tupperware bowl and snagging your lip on the worn edge. House Party for the noughties? It’s just semi celebs getting angry at the fact that they are not men. Get over it ladies, please. Even when they have a guest on the show, it all comes down to whether the ‘girls’ on the panel fancy hunky men or prefer chocolate digestives instead. Is it written by a man caught in a 1970s vortex who spends his lunchtimes opening his sandwich tin to see what his Mrs has made him?
These people make Trisha Goddard look progressive for goodness sake.
I can’t wait until the new E4 show Dead Set airs. I absolutely love Zombies, which may explain why I worked in a banking office for so long. I also love the Davina and like watching sad, reality TV wannabes which is why I’ve got high hopes for this. Let’s face it, I have spent the past few years screaming at Big Brother on TV at the housemates and, I think that it will almost be karma for a few of the most annoying housemates to be eaten alive.
A blonde girl (in the teaser trailer) says, “does this mean we’re not on telly anymore?”. Black comedy…, speaking of which, I knew a (home-dye) blonde girl who once asked me how many letters there were in the alphabet… That wasn’t a joke by the way – oh, and she was my manager at the time. Her best guess at the answer was 21. We laughed too. A lot! Although, I don’t remember smiling much, except at her chosen ’shade’ of blonde, “Labrador”.
I know…, I cannot believe that Kath & Kim has been remade into an American version. Kath & Kim is iconic and truly Australian in ‘umour. The comedy translates to us in the UK simply because the Australians share the same sarcastic, self depreciating humour that other parts of the World don’t get. And we love Australia. But where’s Sharon? Everyone needs a Sharon!
The only saving grace is that Gina Riley and Jane Turner are the Executive Producers for the show. I just wish that they would make another Aussie series for us to watch.
I love ebay. I hate ebay. Ebay is all consuming and addictive and evil and fun all at the same time. So far, we’ve made a (relative) fortune selling old tat to people all over the world and have been ripped off myself with the inflated postage fees by Royal Mail and have taken abuse by stupid people who can’t read how much it will cost them for me to wrap and send stuff. Jeez – if you “win” (ha ha ha) something that retails at £5 for 99p, don’t moan when the postage is £2.00. Maybe the stupid don’t read postage and packaging costs. Bubblewrap, paper and tape ain’t free honey!
I think that I will keep selling all our tat used items, after all, it’s kind of recycling in a round about way.
Funny though, I can never find the kind of bargains that I end up selling. Must be the curse of ebay. Maybe it’s the way stuff is described – who knows! After all, the tag, ‘Addams Family’ on WordPress somehow gets the most hits on this blog. Maybe I should tag all my ebay stuff with, ‘the Addams Family’ and see what happens!
I feel grumpy, blue and sorry for myself today! It might have something to do with the massive downpour of rain we had this morning. It might be that I haven’t smoked for a few days. It could also be that I’m on antibiotics that prohibit alcohol or it could be that I’m still complaining to RBS who are still a bunch of shunts pathological liars. Maybe, I am just fed up.
Anyway, I bought the new album by Noah and The Whale this morning and I think it’s fab.
So far, it’s the only thing that is keeping me sane today. Apart from the now endless supply of Soda Steam fizzy water - that’s still making me smile. Oh, and D made me a cup of tea and gave me a hug which was lovely ♥
Maybe I’ll wear beige later. Surely, I can’t get any more generic and boring than I feel at the minute? (edit) – I just looked beige up on Wiki and now think I will have to have a quick lie down. People can obviously have too much beige in their lives, so I’ll avoid that colour today.
The sun, sun, sun is coming out. I might chance it and go to the library… I might do some drawing later… I could go get a new blank canvas to play with…
I feel a bit better.
Later on…
My aspirations of the day didn’t quite pan out and so, as I got more fed up, I decided to walk to the shops. Obviously, I wouldn’t have chanced the prospect of rain, if it wasn’t to get absolute store cupboard essentials, so, I bought crisps, biscuits, milk, ice, bread and 20 Marlboro.
I came home and ate three bags of crisps (one of each flavour – Ready Salted, Salt & Vinegar and Cheese & Onion), put the fags in the cupboard (unopened) and had an espresso coffee with four chocolate-covered Rich Tea biscuits.
I didn’t do any drawing and didn’t make it to the library after all. All or nothing kinda guy – that’s me!
Woo-hoo! Soda stream are back and I love it! We just got the new version and it’s fab! The concentrates are all natural flavourings now, so we won’t be whizzing our tits off on E-numbers or colours, but the memory of happy sugar induced comatose lows and high tartrazine trips seem to flood back with this advert..
Since yesterday, I’ve received lots of comments, which is great, apart from the fact that my SPAM protection went a little wild and deleted them all. If you have left a message and it hasn’t appeared, please try again. Normal (for Norwich) service will be resumed shortly.
Pam Ann was on Radio 1, and as it looks like I will miss her tour this year, here she is demonstrating safety in the cabin.
Okay, so I sat through another Eurovision in the hope that we might get some points this year. Even though, I liked Michelle Gayle better than Andy Abrahams, I have to say for the record that he pulled off a blinding performance last night and should have been in the top 3 at least.
Europe should keep this new version of the Eurovision and we should walk away and just let them get on with it. We didn’t even get votes from Poland again and the weird Spanish entry (wtf?), which received boos on the night got more points than us. Even Wogan shut up towards the end.
I kind of knew that Charlotte thingy (aka Charlotte Take Me to Your Heaven Nielsson) from a few years ago looked pissed as the votes didn’t go her way either and, as it was almost inevitable that we’d come last, I had my hopes on this French, pure Eurovision class song – just for the bee-wopping background singers.
After chatting about coffee and bears and Coronation Street, I asked that you join the Gadget Show campaign to Wi-fi the whole country even though Norwich was already ahead of the game. I told a couple of jokes that had been lifted from Internet sources and told you how I’d bumped into a friend from uni days via My Space. I also told you about which red wine I was drinking at that time. Kylie added me as a ‘friend’ on My Space, shortly followed by the Scissor sisters and one of the Bucks Fizzes and Pam Ann, all before I decided to pull the plug on it.
I Googled Christmas, had trouble with woollen Tribbles, it snowed and I bought an olive tree. That takes you to February where, I visited Cardiff and went as far as Land’s End before coming back to a job that had a horrible manager that was about 13 years old. I knew this because she asked me, “How many letters are there in the alphabet?”. I then took in a show, ate baked dough balls and emailed a friend in Oz…, Australia, not Emerald City. Then there was a fire down my street, but it didn’t wipe out a 1970s style shopping complex (more’s the pity), but it was okay as the council had decided to knock most of it down next year and revamp the area. One of the lesbians next door mooned me from the courtyard – except she didn’t realise I could see her and it was aimed at her girlfriend anyway.
Talking of moons, around that time, there was a lunar eclipse and the moon went red. I visited Dunwich, then got tonsillitis, drew a cabbage and couldn’t wait until Doctor Who came back on the telly. Easter happened and Australia had a new season of Kath & Kim and I watched “Snakes On a Plane” which was rubbish. My tomato seedlings were strong enough to move outside even though the rocket seedlings died and I bought myself a new camera.
Mum had an operation and went to recuperate with my sister and I took lots of pictures on my new camera. Father Christmas stalked my house with a telephoto lens and I found loads of cool Pam Ann footage on You Tube and then went to see her live. There was a blackbird singing the “Addams Family” theme tune in the garden and then I went to see “Terre Haute” at the theatre. I visited the Kensington museums and saw Kylie’s hot pants and some dinosaurs and then stayed in the hotel that had some radiation problems just a while before. I didn’t take tea there.
I watched another terrible Eurovision Song Contest and was amazed that even Poland didn’t throw a point our way and bought an Apple TV – which is still a pretty cool thing… My friend told me she was getting married the coming year and another friend got hitched that weekend. I had a holiday and read the new Maupin and then decided that my job needed to be changed. Pam Ann made a comedy ad for British Airways and I carved a pumpkin that won me £50 in a competition!
A marketing company read my Blog and sent me a free DVD to say thanks for posting some Pam related Blogs online and then I went to watch the fireworks. The local gay club was turned into a straight disco for the vacuous blonds of the city and then the Blog turned one year old.
I changed jobs and sang “Top of The World” and I asked you to singalong in a karaoke stylee and then continued the theme by dancing to Viola Wills. I told you about the evil British Banks and their way of making money from you using penalty charges as income, had some lovely coffee and took some pictures of my local riverside…
So what now?, well, last night, an earthquake woke me up!
As Frank sang, “come fly with me…”, who would have guessed that he was actually crooning to the lovely Pam Ann? And, when Pam’s people called my people to show me the new teaser, who could resist but to pop it on my Blog!
Pam Ann rules the sky! Hot Coffeeeeeeeeee – oops?!
Last night we boarded flight 269 non-stop to Paradise from the Playhouse and joined Pam in Business Class. I laughed so much, I thought my face had frozen and fallen off. This was THE most funniest show I have ever seen and I just loved every second! It was such a great night and I really didn’t want it to end.
Pam’s website is here, but just go and see her! Fly Pam! In the meantime, here are some clips I found on YouTube.
Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned round to see a big black bear.
The black bear said “You’ve got two choices. I either maul you to death or we get it on right here, right now.”
Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said “That was a huge mistake, Frank. You’ve got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we’ll have rough sex.”
Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered.
Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned round to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said “Admit it, Frank, you don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”
I might chance it and go to the library… I might do some drawing later… I could go get a new blank canvas to play with…
Someone else said, "